artsculture

Einstein in the initial stages of developing an equation to get Christopher Maslow, Derek Gores, Beth Carver, and Hailey Clark in a room together. (CM+DG+BC+HC)/Art=CashBar(!)

I Had the pleasure of interviewing famed thinker Albert Einstein* concerning the WHAT ELSE art exhibition opening Thursday, 7pm at the King Center in Melbourne, FL. Here follows a transcript of our conversation. I should note I didn't get a chance to validate his credentials, because the bus arrived at his stop and he had to get going, but I feel pretty confident this is all above board.

Derek Gores: Mr Einstein, sir. A few questions for you from concerned citizens: Speaking scientifically, is art for the eyes or for the other senses?

Albert Einstein: Small is the number of people who see with their eyes and think with their minds. The pursuit of truth and beauty is a sphere of activity in which we are permitted to remain children all our lives.

DG: The WHAT ELSE show, opening Thursday at the King Center, will it be more fun than a picnic in the rain?

AE: I never think of the future - it comes soon enough.

DG: Now, Mr. Einstein,- these 4 artists, don't they need exposure, don't they need support, shouldn't we be saving them like baby seal artists?

AE: I believe that a simple and unassuming manner of life is best for everyone, best both for the body and the mind. A table, a chair, a bowl of fruit and a violin; what else does a man need to be happy?

DG: Sounds important. Answer me this - We usually see the word 'art' in lower case. Shouldn't it be capitalized?

AE: There are two ways to live: you can live as if nothing is a miracle; you can live as if everything is a miracle. I am enough of an artist to draw freely upon my imagination. Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world.

DG: And finally, Mr. Einstein, all questions so far, nay, all events in human history - - - have led me to this point: What is the best show on primetime tv right now?

AE: It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity.

DG: That's my time, gotta go help set up the bar. Peace out Space Coast.

AE: The only reason for time is so that everything doesn't happen at once.

DG: Some of your comments would make great bumper stickers. You're welcome for the career advice.

AE: P.S. a little advice for YOUR concerned citizens: Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves. Best of luck on your show!

*No actual Albert Einsteins were interviewed in the making of this Albert Einstein interview.